This is how I am feeling today. Mainly because I have a lot on my mind. The one thing in particular that is killing me is that my mother is literally killing herself by drinking her life away. And I'm not sure exactly what to do or if I should say anything at all, again. We have had conversations before, but it's just getting old. She's been this way all of my life and so I grew up with an alcoholic mother and things were not always "peachy" at home, to say the least, without going into all the details.
I guess I'm just angry and feel like its time she grows up. So that's how I feel today and know I think I will go and share some more of my thoughts with some other people. Thanks for the vent.
4 comments:
Dude, I hear you, my dad has been the same way for years, but their is hope, today, he is back in church, so grow weary in prayer, but continue to pray for her, because a lot of the times God wants to teach us stuff as we deal with our parents.
Like the blog site, it looks like you are a daily blogger now, what happend, you finally get saved???
JB
ya thought I would finally have a "virtual life" change, that was much needed. Thanks for the encouragement man.
Todd - I've got parents that seem to find no end of stuff that I worry about in them! *sigh* Isn't it suppose to be the other way around? My dad drinks and my step-mom is Wiccan, for starters. It would appear that *I* will not be the one that they will listen to. We just gotta leave 'em in His hands...
I wish I had something really profound to say (I don't); but let me encourage you with this. I too felt discouraged, and often upset with my two brother's continual usage of alcohol (both were alcoholics). They were killing themselves, and did not seem to care. One thing that helped me is God allowed me to see them through His eyes, with incredible compasion and agape love. My older brother fought in the Vietnam war, and as a young 19 year old soldier, was made to go into villages and slaughter women and children. The reality of what his unit was forced to do ate away at him, it was more than he could mentally bear. He choose to drown his pain in alcohol. Years later he died from a drug overdose, but because of God's mercy he gave his heart to the Lord on his deathbed. My father, who was 82 years old at the time, flew to the state of Washington and led him to the Lord. My brother was in a deep coma, was brain dead, and on life-support; he did not have even normal reflexes (which most comatatic people have). The doctor's said my brother could not hear, but my father was not to be detered. Daddy prayed the sinner's prayer with my brother, and then began to sing the old hymn, "It's bubbling, it's bubbling, it's bubbling in my soul, there's singing and shouting, since Jesus made me whole..." My brother began jerking violently, and sat halfway up. My father knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had made things right with his Reedeemer. Daddy said that the joy of the Lord was bubbling up in my brother's heart over his newfound salvation, and he could not remain still. That evening life support was discontinued, and he died 12 hours later. Today he lives free of torment, and this world's pain!
My younger brother (also an alcoholic) had some very traumatic things happen to him as a young boy, and also tried numb his pain and drown his sorrow in drugs and the bottle. He had to hit his bottom (he ended up in jail); thankfully he also gave his heart to the Lord.
Many times (not always) there are unseen reasons why people make poor choices that undoubtly hurt themselves and those they love most. Ask God to see your mother through His eyes. He loves her unconditionally (even more than you do); He wants to set her free from the enemy's plan of self destruction.
The enemy wants you to beleive that she will never change, that the situation will always remain the same. Not so!!! God is working behind the scenes, changing her heart, and drawing her unto Himself. Begin to speak the Word of God over her life (nothing is more powerful). Begin to proclaim (outloud) that she is no longer addicted to alcohol, but she is addicted to Jesus. We need to get our mouths, and our minds in agreement with the Word of God. Remember, prayer paves the wave for victory, and moves the hand of God. It may not happen immediately, or in the way we would like, but do not waver in your faith that He is the God of the impossible! God often uses times of waiting to stretch our faith and grow us, but rest assured He is at work even when the situation does not seem to have changed. Be encouraged dear brother, and remember the battle belongs to the Lord.
Be blessed today!
Shelby
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