Am I Dreaming?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Were your reality is so incredibly far-fetched and unreal that you thought you were dreaming or that you were just imagining something that really isn't real at all. As I have been living this faith journey out with Christ of the last, going on 9 years now, I find myself from time to time asking this question. There have been moments that were just so surreal for me and it was almost like it really wasn't happening, but yet I was fully present in the moment and more alive than I have ever been before in my life.

Some of these moments would be like the first time I felt the weight of my sins lifted from me and the Holy Spirit come on me like fire and consumed me in the moment and forever, or like the moment I saw my beautiful bride-to-be walking down that aisle towards me as I waited for her to give herself to me and I to her for the rest of our lives here on earth, or like the first time I was able to hold both my daughters in my arms and then months later stand in front of the body of Christ and dedicate them unto Him. These are just a few of those moments in my life, were I found myself asking the question, Am I dreaming? Is this really real?

A sense of awe and wonder would come over me and the realization of God's grace in my life would break me into streams of tears each and every time. I was recently reading Making Small Groups Work and it was in this book that for the first time I heard this definition of grace. Grace is receiving something in your life that is needed, that you could never acquire on your own. This is way beyond a random act of kindness or even unconditional love, though these things are all part of God's grace, grace is much more. Think about it for a minute. What is it in your life? Was there ever anything in your life that you needed (known to you or not) that someone gave you in love with no strings attached? I'm getting a little of the subject here, but I guess this is my way of explaining how I felt and feel during those "Am I dreaming" moments.

There is a story in the book of Acts in the 12 chapter were Peter was in prisoned by Herod and the church was earnestly praying for him. While in prison, he had 4 guards and their teams surrounding him at all times, while being chained between two of them. An angel of the Lord appeared and broke his chains and opened wide the cell gates and led him out. During this time the text says that Peter thought he was seeing a vision from God but then quickly realized that this was his reality, God's grace in action! Then a few verses later we see it again, when Peter knocks on the door of those who were praying for him and a woman by the name of Rhonda answered the door, so startled when she saw him she couldn't even open the door, instead she runs back to tell everyone that Peter's at the door and they all think she's out of her mind, or that she must have saw his angel. Once again, God's grace in action and the power of prayer for the miraculous. I wonder if those involved in this miracle shed some tears along the way?

My question is why are we not having more of these moments in our lives? Not only personally but as the body of Christ as well. Why do we not see the miraculous as much and why do we just settle for a complacent life? We should be seeking, knocking and asking for God to give his miraculous provisions in our lives, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, Spiritually and Socially. We need to come to Him like a child, humble and full of faith and assurance that our Father in heaven wants and longs to give us good gifts of his mercies and grace. Far to often we find ourselves just drifting through this life with the comfort and safety of our lives, which we seem to manage quite well, with all our innovation and gadgets to help us through, we leave now room for God to do the miraculous, let alone do we think to even ask. How sad.

Lord, break us and help us to know and see the depths of your love for us and how you long to have our affections and how you long to show us your might and power in our lives as we live this walk with you, out in a world that so desperately needs to know you and see you at work through your saints. By your Holy Spirit, send the fire into our lives once again and empower us to be the witnesses you have called us to be.Help us God to know you more each and every day. It's in the wonderful, mighty and powerful name of Jesus I pray. Amen.